Waking up this morning in anticipation to call in and give my eulogy at my Nanny’s funeral this afternoon, I couldn’t help but feel both connected and also a great sense of loneliness being miles upon miles away from our family in New Jersey.
On Wednesday morning, our Nan left this earth to join our Poppop and Uncle back at home in the heavens. My first instinct was to get on a plane to be with and for my family for that has always been the way of handling death. To mourn with the people I love the most, share stories and be with the community that has surrounded us our entire lives. After deciding to stay here by the mountains, at our home as we prepare for our little girl's arrival, the inquiry around what it means to “be with” for me became redefined.
Physically, I knew I was not going to be with my father to hold him, to remind him of the love his Mama will always and forever hold for him in life and in death. I was going to hold the hands of my brother and Mem and be surrounded by the love I hold so dear as we all transition into a new way of connecting to Nan.
What I am learning is being with someone, being for someone doesn’t mean I need to be physically by there side. It doesn’t mean we have share bread once a week or be in their presence as much as I’d like to. Being with someone means loving them, unconditionally and being a stand for their well being, for their growth, for their spirit to continue on in the way they are meant to flourish and know that no matter what, their spirit stands beside me, as mine stands besides them. In the actions we make, the thoughts we have, in the love we give and in the process of becoming throughout our lives.
Over shared phone conversations, FaceTime calls, family prayer sessions and the remembering of what the power of love holds with my little family here and our extended family there, today we get to hold the space for the ones we love as they hold the space for the us.
May you be reminded of the space you hold and of the extrinsic power you have to love and be loved without limits or boundaries for the vastness of love is forever unbound and interweaved throughout us all.